Well, first of all let’s have a look at the primary requirements for celebrating - good food, entertainment and a nice place to hang out along with bunch of friends (as without them, for whom party will be thrown?)
So one handy option that comes as a rescue to search for any such place is a “mall”... These days’ people choose mall as their perfect destination, and so my friend did too.
It was my friend’s birthday.
Now, here are few friends celebrating their friend’s Birthday party!!
But were they exactly??? Let’s have a look...
They can’t shout and talk freely (as neighbouring people sitting over there would look at them in a weird manner making them feel as if they are some uncivilized guys). Limit on the way we should party and rejoice.
No birthday is complete without cake (at least current trend says so), so cake was arranged. But as it’s said, cutting of the cake is incomplete without candles either, so candle search begun...
The most ironical part lies here: cake could be found in that big mall as current trend says that people would buy it but ironically no candles were found in that big mall... even the grocery shops at the mall that claims- “find everything at one shop”, they too didn’t have it.
I felt bit disheartened, after scanning through each floor and still not able to get candles for my friend. She didn’t mind that, but I did, as I feel there are few emotions (like blowing off candles after making a cute little wish) that bring true happiness. I mean when people can’t ignore cake, then why forget candles??
All malls have their food court- (or say, combo of food shops), where at one place you can have variety of menu to choose from. But ironically, I think it’s the overdose of menu which confuse one’s mind and leave us staring at the menu only!!
These days "Modern happiness" correlates itself with vogue...
Celebration means happiness, but when there are limits on celebrating we restrict our happiness. I guess that’s what modern happiness is getting all about!!
Think again, where our happiness is moving?
May be modern happiness lies in trend.
Check!! Check!! Our happiness is in trap of some restrictions.
copyright aditi kochhar
Ho i really go with you,
ReplyDeleteThe Mordern Lifestyle has actually caught all of us in a very bad manner. Nowdays it seems hard for one to express his real feelings, all of it is now based on the fact of COMPROMISE, So if you have a cake then you have to compromise and not have a candle, or if you have friends to celebrate then you can't have the a loudly sang birthday wish song b'coz if we do so then we are wild bunch of people who would be termed as uncivilzed people.
Anyway all that is fine but i have 1 question for you aditi
" Aditi tum kab likna chodogi ?" :) :) :)
So that we all don't have to comprise with those pop ups in gtalk that say "Update on Blog, please comment"
:) :) :) :) hehehehehehehe :) :) :) :) :) :)
Hey just kidding please keep on writing, it's realy great reading your blog :)
Happiness...
ReplyDeleteThe eternal of all human states, the elixir of life!
Don't sail, with the winds of the society...
Note- i dnt gv a damn, what the other people might think. Infact, would be happy if they think am mad, hearing me laugh, or sing the b'day song. For they knw not.
Why fear? Does their certificates matter?
And won't it be great to see them shocked, n mortified, when they get to know the "madman", closely?
You know, this is the fundamental problem, and the root to all trouble.
We have built dams on the river of emotions...
Okay, there are some requirements for celebration... And am nt saying that go out in public n conspicuously do thngs, which are weird...
Bt how about celebrating the divine- love n life? Do you still need all those things?
When you're with the ONE- u embrace, hug, kiss, smile, laugh, talk, mind-talk... This one celebration, shall, thankfully, be free frm superficiality n show...
Blessed are those, who celebrate 5 hours.
May God bless us all.
P.s. Regarding mall culture. A post coming soon. One of those things that has blinded us all.
Well yes Mr.Ideating Freak, i do go with you that there is no need to Compromise with your life and it would be great to live it according to the way one wishes to.
ReplyDeleteBut if we be a bit more practical and realistic do u really think that for you society talk about yourself doesn't matter at all?
The world has changed a lot and yes i do agree with the fact that its not what the world thinks about you but rather what one thinks of himself. If one respects his own body then he would not be able to do anything wrong.
But then still some where down the line, it still seems hard to be what one really is.
Why so ??
Absolutely not! I dnt gv a damn what any other Tom, Dick n Harry might think of me...
ReplyDeleteOne day, people may say gud of me, and i shall feel elated.. The very next day, their opinion about the same person might change, and i'd feel bad.. So all in all, i'd have given the society, a remote control, according to which i try changing myself, which am NOT..
Ur life gets imprisoned by others.
As for ur question that why it's hard to be what one is.. The clue to it is-
WE FEAR.
99.9% of our thinking n actions, are based on fear.
Fear of failure.
Fear of God.
Fear of society.
Fear of what others might say.
And many more.
Ultimately, only one important thing remains-
dump the others, all it matters is, what your companion, truly thinks about you.
Well ok, in a way you are right that it may be fear, but if this fear factor is not present then don't you think this world will come to an end.
ReplyDeleteIf we get rid off the fear factor then, no one has any respect for anyone, all will do what they want, all rules and regulation would be just limited to the pages of the book.
And ultimately it would be hard for each one of us to live in this world(which was atleast bearable earlier with the fear factor in it).
Monsieur Akhilesh, the interesting point ye made me smile, as it is pretty much the same dilemma i confronted with a few years back.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, fear of anything, ANY, is bad..
Now what about the very foundation of civilization, law, system and order?
Well, a fearless person is completely free. And here goes the trump card-
An individual's freedom is bound to the very same, unitary individual!
That means, a person's act MUST NOT affect any OTHER person.
If your freedom becomes overpowering, affecting and indulging for the other, then it has to be checked.
Your freedom can't overshadow another's freedom.
This is the fundamental tenet, on which anythng maybe extrapolated and concluded..
Pray, u may find some stuff @ "Talking Straight"
check out.
:) well Mr.Ideating Freak, it was great to have this conversation with you. I liked and it seems you have also gone through the same face of life that iam going through, but earlier. And now it seems like you have achieved an Excellence in Life's First Stage. :)
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best and hope we due strike in conversation like this furthur more, with great topic's beeing provided to us by our great Writer Aditi :)
And yes i would love to get some more material on this so, can i request you to send in some if you have, it can be e-links or books.
my email id is akhilesh.antony@gmail.com
thanks :)
Good talking with you...
ReplyDeleteWell.. Well.. E-inks or books! I haven't really come across any book, that can serve you up in understanding the various complexities of life or philosophy itself...
Lemme give you a hint, at what i do:
Observe. Observe everything that goes around with an open mind. And you shall be a changed man.
Check out my blog @ ideatingfreak.blogspot.com
I think, you may find some similar kind of a mental jog.
Good Wishes.
woah.. Didn't know that a great deep discussion was going on here!! That too in a very interesting manner.. ahan!!
ReplyDelete@Akhilesh: I liked the point that you raised-
" No law and order will be there, if we will not think about society and will live FREELY without FEAR."
Frankly saying, for a moment I didn't have an answer for it!!
But, But!!
@Ideatingfreak: Thanks for explaining to us that "our freedom can't overshadow another's freedom". Now, that was a complete answer!! Bingo..
well, my regards to both of you.
I mean thanks Akhilesh for raising that question,
and thanks Ideatingfreak for answering an amazing answer!!
Happy blogging!!
okz, well this topic won't end here.
ReplyDeleteeverybody is invited to throw their response on this!!!
well, today I had a chance to discuss about fears with akhilesh. And after long conversation, one question came, whose answer I m looking for, or say feel like discussing.
"Often, fear is the reason for our compromise.
so should this reason be eliminated from our lives?
I'm not saying that one would never compromise, But should we compromise due to Fear?? "
start pouring views... Let the Search Begin...
regards, aditi
To begin with, here is the situation,
ReplyDeleteThere is this person 'X' who wants some peace and he chooses a corner seat to sit in the food court of some mall( though very stupid of him as he has choosen a wrong place to spend time when he is searching for peace, but still, spare this chap Mr X and say, he is at mall and he chooses corner seat)
Now bunch of people arrive and they choose a seat near to him. And they have come to celebrate the Birthday party of their friends.
Now talking about freedom of fears. They start shouting, screaming. They enjoy, celebrate, without thinking anything.
But their fun, irritates Mr X. Beacuse of them, all peace which he tried searching in that corner seat of food court is gone.
Now out of fear, those bunch of people are unintentionally irritating them.
Ok lets say, Now as Mr X is also full of freedom, so he goes and request them to shift if they can as he was not ok and wanted peace.
Now, continue the story,,,and along with it, take care of the compromises that would be made. If there are any compromises, kindly explain(with its reason)!!!
A very unfair setting and circumstance...
ReplyDeleteFirst, ask Mr. X, if he will find peace, only by sitting at the corner seat???
If not, then, he may shift to another place...
(P.S. one may find peace sitting in a hard rock discotheque even! But this point is esoteric and for some other time discussion.)
There are things, where you don't have to be conspicuous...
Like, if i go to someone's funeral, and want to enjoy a joke.. Or want to laugh... Well, i can! I am fearless... Free..
But I must not... That will be conspicuous, bad, disrespectful...
I can't say, "Hey guys! Life is happiness.. And you please move out of here.. As i want to laugh only here at the crematorium..."
Similarly, when a person goes to a mall, he has to agree, that over there, all the "happening" stuff will occur...
Pray, think of a great dilemmic situation...
I repeat-
ReplyDeleteFEAR OF ANYTHING IS BAD! GOD INCLUDED!
AND, YOUR FREEDOM MUST NOT OVERSHADOW THAT OF THE OTHER.
But Mr Ideating Freak, There is nothing like overshadow other freedom.
ReplyDeletewhen we overshadow others freedom then basicly someone in that state is compromising or ultimately losing his or her freedom.
It is ultimately fear that makes this world move.As i earlier said if this fear factor is not there, then the world is not there.
Also one more thing this FEAR factor is of many type,
It can be normal fear, in which you are feared of being hurt, it can be a fear of professional aspect, like for an example you are working in an office and you are not happy with just your boss all the rest is great there. But you never go and hit him, or abuse him. or for instance you will not go and kick your teacher ass or abuse him, because you feared of him if not him then of the consiquences that would take place.
And most of all it is because of this fear that you today are a well manner person and one whom the world respects. Or so as to say today i am proud to say yes i have a friend Bhavya, because you are one who is understanding, well manner and has good behaviour. And all this is because deep down in your heart you are FEARED.
Now coming back of types of fear, it can be an emotional fear.
Suppose you have this great friend. Now this friend of your has a very
bad habit. may it be any bad habit. And he does this bad thing frequently because of which you get irritated. But if you go and tell him this thing then you know that you both will end up in a big fight and your friend ship will end.And you don't want to lose him.
Now here is the time when you have to eliminate your fear factor. you have to eliminate it to so that even at the cost of losing a friend you build a better world with a better human being in it.
So if at all you say to eliminate fear or when you say you "Iam a fearless man", then you are saying the biggest blunder of the your life.
Please do not take it personally, i am just saying so that you understand exactly what i want you to know.
Understand, Monsieur Ideating Freak, the fear is something we all have and under any circumstances you WILL NOT be able to remove it fully. Yes to a certain level it can but never can it be removed fully.So when we say to remove or eliminate fear then it is the emotional fear that we should try to remove and not the fear in its true sense.
truly said
ReplyDeleteYou know what,I felt the same on almost all of my friedn`s birthday parrty,
We ususally go to shipra and then end up in McD following the same patter again & aagain.It`s damm tiring and just artifical happiness no such fun .Its the web in which we are stuck
Well! Wel!! U got me go full throttle on this, Akhilesh... Thanx..
ReplyDeleteWhen I say, complete abolishment of fear, i mean total, absolute..
The problem however is-
you are relating somethng esoteric, eternal to somethng superficial, wordly, and to what you see with your naked eye..
Also note, that when at times am saying to pull ur left ear, you r pulling it.
Though, i pull it with my left hand, you with ur right!
Let's begin then..
Refer para 1 of ur comment.
So? Do we hv the right to overshadow? A man is free, but others shudnt be affectd by his freedom.
Even if, unwillingly/willingly/ or that they get subdued. It mustn't be like that.
Don't forget Jesus' sermon on the mount-
"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."
we must then be careful, so as to not allow the other person compromise on his/her freedom bcause of our actions.
Contd...
ReplyDeleteRefer para 2.
Quite naturally, u've linkd everythng to directly what you see, without caring to dive deep n touch the ocean floor.
Plz take note-
THAT YES, WORLD MOVES ON FEAR.
AND IT WILL.
INFACT, IT SHOULD.
Why?
Thru out human history, one thing has been present for certain-
1% of population rules over the rest 99%.
There always has been a ruling class, and it wil remain so..
1% makes the 99% go around it. Fear makes it go that way.. And when fear is discarded, revolution takes place.
Even in 1947, only 1% really cared fr independence.. Rest were indiffrnt to it.
1% fears that it might nt remain the ruling. So it creates fear, for 99%.. If this fear doesnt remain, it wil lose its power..
See anythng.. Economy, politics, world..1% rules..All fear.
Here, we must talk at the individual level.. An individual's rising, awakening n journey.
Contd...
ReplyDeletePara 3.
Recal the ear pulling thing.
Fear is present in infinite many scenarios.
So u say, one doesnt abuse to his boss because of the fear of losing the job..
Let's bake this thought completely.
Try understanding, that by abusing, he is over shadowing the freedom of boss. The freedom to nt get abused by any1!
Lemme explain further.
Akhil, dnt take it otherwise, but what if i abuse to you???
At the moment, what can you do? Ur nt my boss, or teacher.. And u dnt even knw my parents! :-D
THE FEAR FACTOR IS NT THERE...
But, my abusing wil certainly overpower ur freedom to remain abuse-free, won't it?
I hope u got the point.
And it depends on u, that you resist/retaliate my abuse, or get subdued... Here goes ur para 1.
Think of the sexual crimes too.. Doesnt the victim get subdued?
Contd...
ReplyDeletePara 4.
Are u referring to me?
See, good deeds hv to be done, bcause-
1. They r meant to be done.
2. Ur heart wants to.
Nt fr fame, name, accolades etc..
These are kiddish thngs.. (and we al r kids!)
bt after certain level, you'll just feel joy n divine pleasure in doing gud.
As i'v said bfore, one shudnt be at others mercy fr appreciation etc..
And am nt fearful in this case,in particular.
Wait a sec! If some1, does gud deeds fr fame etc., then he loves fame or gud deeds? Then, wil gud thngs be done frm heart n soul? Wil it nt just be a reaction, a temporary affair?
If i donate a million dollars, i'l gt famous.. Then i'l donate again, n wil enjoy the world attention..
So do i seriously care for those needy people?
Contd...
ReplyDeleteLatter half of para 4 is bit hazy.. Explain.
I'v a gud,gr8 frnd. I can have fear of losing. And here thngs go bad, because of fear.
I'l develop distrust.. I'l try to bondage her, so she doesn't go away..
Things go ugly, uglier.
Finally, i'l stop living with that friend, but with fears.
There's another fear. That, a person may stand against us in future.. So why nt make him/her a friend!
Para 5.
The two fellas, have their own fears. If they get rid of it, things wil get normal. And at the moment, it's a sin to call them friends.
Para 6.
Am nt saying am completely fearless. Stil some steps to go further. Frankly, i've some fears, that i can count on finger tips.
CAN YOU?
Are less than 3.
Fearlessnes is the way forward. The zenith, the peak of human super- consciousness.
One day, life wil be full circle, and i shall be complete n fearless...
Contd..
ReplyDeletePara 6-7.
By now, i think, your pre-conceived notions regarding the "blunder", must be shaken n stirred..
We all have fears, though varying in number n magnitude.
Let us think, if we are being driven by our own fears?
Are we blindly serving to their demands?
Do we classify Satan?
Satan of greed.. Satan of violence..
Satan of sexual crimes..
No, we don't.
Fear is fear.. No emotional/professional..
Fear shud fear us. Not the other way round.
....................................
An advice cum request to all.. Plz give ur ideas more thought.
OBSERVE.
Ok. Nw am done here.
It was bodily stress bt mental pleasure fr me.
(typing on mobile the whole thing.. That's why comments r segregatd..)
Always game.
Nw, am also saying-
"FEAR IS ALWAYS OF THE UNKNOWN!"
Bring in, on this.
Psst... Aditi!
ReplyDeleteDidnt knw my first comment on ur this post wud lead to this!
All writing comments longer than the post itself!
Check out the records... We may be breaking some in blogging! Lol
i hate reading long articles, stories poems or any xyz which seems never ending... (smile)
ReplyDeletebut your post was so involving and amazing that i couldnt stop reading...
to be honest i dint have the patience to go through all the comments but yes i went through a few major ones and i have a question for "ideatingfreak"
he has mentioned that he doesnt care for any tom, dick n harry.
good enuf... but my question is if he really doesnt care about these people would he be really happy if tomorrow his dad gifts him a 3rd class broken scooty for his daily use, which is working perfectly but looks awful and everybody is making fun of him and his family's economic position.
would he still use the same scooty for his daily routine or would he use his dad's new shining bike/car which is just standing in his house parking?
i think we all know the answer... he might say no he would use the old scooty but we all know what would happen.
cheers,
KV
nice post Adi. U force people to think and answer (smile). I like the way u think.
love,
KV
It is very unfortunate and ridiculous, that the main idea(s) have been devalued to such a level.
ReplyDelete"i think we all know the answer... he might say no he would use the old scooty..."
Don't jump over to conclusions, people.
I ride a ten year old scooter. Scooters, as we all know, are not "in"... Not in fashion.. And even, the companies have discontinued its production.
I drive a 97 model, Maruti 800 or an i10, depending on which is available at home.
And my favourite footwear for the nearby market, is "chappals", with the same pyjama or bermudas; while my woodland lies in the closet...
I don't prove any point to anyone, by wearing the Rolex I have, whose value I don't know...
Just to be in accordance to the society, I won't buy up things and wear it.
P.S. I even didn't think, what will a girl would think, on bringing that not so good looking as a bike, "Scooter"...
THE POINT IS-
I won't buy, say, a new Pulsar, because that will bring in some appreciation...
My buying will solely depend on MY will. On my LIKING. Not on what others have to say/think about it.
2 historical anecdotes, I recall.
At school, DPS... During the final exams, as there isn't too much to carry, I thought of bringing a "Khadi" bag.. A jhola..
People were shocked! I, who till yesterday brought a branded bag, was now carrying a 50 rupees worth, "JHOLA"... Some laughed, some were disgusted, as i had brought down the DPS brand...
As you see, they were shallow minds. My friends, patted on my shoulder.
And I carried it, throughout the whole exams.
How about the next one.......-
Having been elected as the President of a Board at school, all the student appointees were to give a gesture in front of 2000 odd people; students, principal and teachers... In DPS.
So, ask yourself, what would YOU have spoken, on the stage?
I was the only ONE, to speak in HINDI!
And the applause I got, along with the fame (especially in the female lot! LOL), for my bravado, was humongous. Amazing.
Yes, there were some, who frowned, listening the ONLY person to speak in hindi... But, they were "Shoulder Pushed"... Shallow people.
And converse with me in English too, and I'll make you stammer.
So, the point is-
I don't give a damn, at what others think...
Others, however, exclude special ones.
Bring in on more of your bullets, and I'll show, how Neo made them fall in mid-air, like in The Matrix.
People end up doing things, just to be with the society.. Just to prove others, that they are good in others eyes..
ReplyDeleteThis continues the whole life..
Many choose their career/hobby/passion, just because others think it's gud..
Readers may like reading my post on REACTION under the heading, "Newton's Third Law"
eventually, one realizes, that he's just been a slave, not a master.. Life gets messed up.
Stop !! Stop!! Stop!! Stop the war game!! Please for God sake!!
ReplyDeleteRegards, Aditi
No more discussions!!! The end. Amen.
ReplyDeletelol are u a matrix fan or something? LMAO... ideating freak do u really think im interested in a war with you? and that too on such a platform where no friggin xyz is interested in whats going on?
ReplyDeletei have much important things to be taken care of... this was just a normal human behaviour which i have been noticing over the past few years.
anyway... God bless all!
and dear Adi, never quit writing... its something u are brilliant at. Your thoughts, emotions, feelings is the best thing you have beside you. Never loose them.
Love,
KV
All I'm interested in is, that people start using the usage of the word - "loose".. In the correct way.
ReplyDeleteAditi, don't lose the skills...
Let's fear not, and fare forward.
very nice
ReplyDeletereally it is very good
All malls have their food court- (or say, combo of food shops), where at one place you can have variety of menu to choose from. But ironically, I think it’s the overdose of menu which confuse one’s mind and leave us staring at the menu only!!
ReplyDeleteThese days "Modern happiness" correlates itself with vogue...
Celebration means happiness, but when there are limits on celebrating we restrict our happiness. I guess that’s what modern happiness is getting all about!!
ye lines mere kam ke hai
ReplyDelete