In The Blind Spot Of My Heart

"Jab sara jag sota hai, phir neend humein kyun ati nahin..." as I was listening to the song, a smile crossed my heart. I mean in the past one year,  I had been catching up on things. Beat crazy hectic office work or pending household chores or some random x y z situations. I had been tired, frustated, demotivated and what not. Every weekend target is to rest but every single time you end up catching up on your pending tasks. In the blind spot of my heart I had craved a weekend where I get some time to relax, where I write, listen to music while drinking my cup of tea, talk to love of my life or just randomly watch some movie and most importantly spend some time without worrying about anything. Every day I had felt tired because of which always felt sleepy and energyless. My heart would skip a beat thinking about the old times before we all started to work, when we could be all awake all night, reading novels or listening to songs and yet waking up in the morning with full energy. Often I wonder that it was'nt the case that we had less work then yet we used to be charged up. How ? Why? How come now we feel so sleepy? Well, I couldn't have got the answer up untill I had felt this feeling, at this moment untill now. 

Its 11:41 pm and songs are rolling one by one. I am sitting on my couch and writing this. And believe me, sleep is no where in the distant vision in my eyes. Again, how come is this possible? 

Well, I had busy day, whole day was spent in cleaning the house, lunch, shopping and even did some office work in the evening, then how come I feel so refreshed right now?

Well, its about thoughts which are in mind... Everyday we live in the garbage of dead and negative thoughts. Thoughts which remind us of office tensions or pending tasks..blah blah.. We dwell on situations of fast pace running life that we miss the essence to cherish the moments for which we are living this life. We need to unerstand the diference between - we work to live or live to work. Imagine, today all these positive thoughts could strike my mind just because I could live moment which was in my blind spot of my heart. Today somehow, luckily, I saw a movie on tv, talked with my partner with a connecting spark, had light dinner and then got chance to listen to some great old songs which started to roll... Believe me when I heard the lyrics "Jab sara jag sota hai, phir neend humein kyun ati nahin" I could literally relate to each word. People including us, we usually feel sleepy because we end up getting deprived of the moments which stay in the blind spot of our hearts. All I pray at this very time is that we all take out time to live such moments that stay untouched in our blind spot of our hearts.

I wish we all get such moments all the time

Amen.
PS: It feels good to write on my blog again after almost two and a half years :)

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That second

Water kisses the brim of glass,

Fire ablaze red hot,

Water flows close to the danger mark,

That second stakes the charm.

One more step with wounded feet,

One sip of water to beat the heat,

Last try to achieve the dream,

That second stakes the belief.

Anger waiting patiently to explode,

Life ready to break its chore,

Relations prepared to diffuse the self,

That second stakes one’s will 

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Unidentified by self

The space in mind seems empty,

Nothing in between,

The rainbow once seemed pretty,

Now, just colors intertwined.

Mirror reflects the self,

Unidentified by self.

Feud between heart and mind,

Escaped the sweet conversations,

Once there was a bit of nirvana,

Now exist, just thoughts in coma.

Mirror reflects the self,

Unidentified by self.

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Carpe-diem

It dates back to centuries, “I wish I could also wear an archer ring and drink wine in Bohemian glass.” “I wish I could fight with valor having carved swords in my hands.” “I wish I could drape myself in the finest silk and could walk on Persian carpets.” I guess such thoughts would have crossed the minds of all the folks who didn't belong to the generation of royal kings; to be as rich as kings were their wildest dreams.

Today as a person of 21^st century, I cherish to see the rare relics of the period when such folks craved to be born as kings in their next generation. The jade artifacts, the Persian swords (Abbasi), flintlock guns and blunderbusses, collections of rich trinkets, statues dated back from 2^nd -3^rd century to 19^th century and much more. I could see the finest collections which once belonged to the royal families but now lay silently behind the closed shelves of the museum.

There was a time in the history when to fight with weapons embedded with diamond, hunting daggers or small pistols was supposed to be powerful and proud owner of these weapons used to flaunt about their strength. Did anyone would have imagined during that period, that in future, strongest weapon might be a nuclear bomb? Leave that, would they have ever imagined in their wildest of dreams that a nuclear bomb could be the most dreadful weapon?

The thought of what we aspire for our future, the imagination which we weave in our minds might not be the only best dimension which would exist in the future. So best idea is to utilize the present and be aware of near future instead of future (year’s way ahead of our time- line).

The thread which stretches the past to future is ironical. The costliest diamond which I want to own right now may not be the best diamond in future. Instead a new metal would get invented which would be people’s desire to own it.

Let me state an example of present century, I want to own a range rover as soon as possible and I would like to drive it every day. That’s my dream. And there is one person who works as a driver for some super rich businessman and drives his range rover every day. So basically, a driver is living my dream, and on the other hand, he dreams to be like me. He wants to work in big organization, earn pretty good income, live in good society and live a safe life.

My present is his dream to fulfill in future and his present is my desire to live in future. It’s just the equilibrium of the situations is not same.

In the history to be born as king was best dream to achieve, lately to be an innovator who invents something good and serve the society is the trend of the society, but there could be a situation that in near future, to be able to survive fighting the catastrophic situation would be the ultimate reality.

So walk into the present peacefully, walk towards your own passion, live your each second and live with motto- Carpe-diem.

Someday, you will also belong to a period which will exist in the history. And future is something which nobody has seen. Only thing which we have is- PRESENT

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. 

never too late, never too far

"Closure await for broken dreams,

A new door opens in between,

One day is never too late,

Take the decision to find your fate.

Reunite with the reverence of self,                        

Meet the motivated self,

The faith is never too far,

It always takes you away from dark.

Rise above the guilt,

Rise above the sorrows,

Get drowned in the self-belief,

Life is beautiful indeed."

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Close one's

Life keeps running and till we die, we keep living different moments of our lives. Among these varied moments, there is one side of these moments where we try to take care of our close ones. We try to make them smile, adjust with their phase of life irrespective of how our own life is running and we just accept them the way they are. We think that they know about the stuff running in our life, but somehow they neglect the efforts we put in to make things seem perfect just for them. We keep our own problems, worries, and tensions aside; we even try to mend the ways, which we want to do, so as to help ourselves fight our own problems. We put their troubles above ours and do things which they want to do. And slowly and steadily this becomes a habit.

They shirk the part where they too need to mend their ways and do something just for us. And when this continues, we just keep losing out on expectation and in the end we de-attach ourselves from everything so as to not to get hurt more. But the story doesn’t ends here, our reputation is defamed over the fact that we don’t care for them anymore. They say there was a time when we used to be there for them, we used to make them smile which unfortunately we don’t do anymore.They say our expectations are way too high.

Lately, having close ones seem bit ironical and satirical. And I feel, it’s better not to live in an illusion. I don’t want to think someone as one my close one if he/she just can’t understand my point of view and keep playing the blame game and defame my reputation without caring for anything.

I know I can’t re color the beautiful moments which once were my best moments. But I can reassure myself to stay away from pseudo world of pseudo relationships with pseudo promises and pseudo affection.

Take care. I hope you all find your true close ones.

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Dont be a victim

Hello people, as a person who loves writing, I feel bit content that I completed a century writing over this blog of mine. I feel content as lately I have been out of touch of writing; specially poems. So right now, I just framed up my random thoughts of the moment into this poem below-

The wishes, the desires I had,

Those wishes, those desires got crushed,

Whom shall I blame?

Whom shall I not blame?

The struggle is tired to work for dreams,

The stamina is now weak and lean,

Can we still try to push ourselves?

And take the path being less followed?

I think and re think every day,

But at least I think each day,

I think for my next step,

To begin my journey with my single step,

I know result is in actions,

And I’m sure I will not kill my aspirations,

As I don’t want to be a victim,

Who killed her own dreams..

The year 2013 is about to bid its good bye and I'm sure everyone of us is hoping that the new year coming round the corner brings with itself lots of happiness, success and joy for all of us. But along with this, I request you all to recapture the year 2013 and think about the good memories you made, the lessons you learnt, the failure you faced. Just cherish your each moment you lived in this present year.

I wish you all a great Merry Christmas and a great Happy New Year; enjoy the festive season. Jump into the celebration, don't be sad. Don't feel sorry for yourself, as in the end, its your own life and don't make yourself a victim for being sad. Stand up and try to gather the stamina you need to create a life which you want to see for yourself. Wishing you all lots of good lucks and good charms.

Bless you all.

Adios 2013!!

copyright aditi kochhar   

I felt proud again

It’s one of those moments that made me speechless, jaw struck for a moment. I love listening to music and I keep collecting music collection from my friends. So it was this day when I asked one my friend for his songs collection.

I gave him my pen drive.

He loaded it with his music folder.

I took it back.

I copied into my laptop.

And as everybody does it, I did the same; I went through the folder to see what genre of music this collection has.

To my surprise I found a song titled- “Jan gan man.”(National Anthem for INDIA)

And I was like WOW. I’m not saying that this dude would be listening to the national anthem of his country every day, but if he has it that means someday he must have downloaded or taken from somebody and might have listened to it.

How many among us has downloaded the national anthem lately? It feels like ages, when in school we used to sing it every day. And I always used to wonder that have people completely forgotten their national anthem except school kids or defense people and few more exceptions.

But I would like to say thanks to this friend of mine who made me feel proud again. If there is one like him in thousands, who can download this song and listen to it, then I believe many would be around too who still feel connected to their land. Our land-INDIA.  Jai Hind.

PS: Guys, if possible download the anthem and listen to it, believe me, you feel strange connection to your school assemblies or republic day celebrations etc. and happiness.

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The moment of freedom

And there I was driving, while listening to my favorite music, windows pulled down and chasing with the speed of wind. I was smiling and I knew why. I was smiling from free mind. My mind knew no call will ring on my phone until I want somebody to call or give me some update. My mind was not thinking of any responsibility. My mind could dance with excitement to look forward to what I will do with rest of my day. My mind was free from all thoughts. My mind knew it won’t think anything about-professional life or personal life. My mind knew that it won't think of any thought which was injured from bad memory or future planning. My mind was living the free moment it was living in. I wish that the freedom of that moment stays with me all my life. As this is real freedom.

We are not free if every morning,we still eat our breakfast in hurry as we are getting late. We are not free from responsibilities if every day we keep calculating what needs to be planned and what not to be bothered about.  We are not free if even being so tired and when we know that we are so damn tired that we can’t be awake early in the morning but still we are forced to set an alarm in our cell phones to be up on time.

Just think!!

Have a life where we work which expects to be on a time which matches my time, as in, I wake up at my usual time, can eat my breakfast at my own pace and by the time I’m ready, I know it’s the perfect time for me to start the work. My office time matches with my pace.

Is it possible in today’s world? Then how can we say we are free.

I dream to have a freedom to live free. I want to have a life which is full of moments of actual freedom. Where I can smile the real smile, where my mind and heart smiles together....

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Only the portrait stays the same.

Who would not want to capture the beauty of the shining sunrise into his camera? The glowing orange ball rising from the zenith while spreading across the light and making a call for the ceasefire of darkness. A perfect moment. Likewise, we all have many sweet moments in our lives. Now imagine, the portrait of that serene picture is being observed by an observer ane believe me, he too will cherish the beauty of it. Likewise, when we as third person see the pictures of the sweet moments of people around us, we too cherish it and if we are not in that picture, we would feel missed out too.

But its just the one side of perception.

After the sunrise comes the sunset. And the position of sun being gulped down by zenith is same as that of rise. And now believe me again, the beauty of picture still holds as good as before. But would our observer will be able to notice the difference(of sunrise or sunset)? Likewise, many moments which we capture in horde are at times fake within. A bunch of friends smiling together, having fun moments being clicked, all this might look nice; and at a certain point all the fellas observing such pictures and who are not part of such groups would feel lonely and sometimes bit jealous too.

But people believe me, do not just go with the portarit. It will say the same expression for all the years down the line. But what actually happnned after that moment was being clicked and what actually it was, is way different than the what picture says.

Sense the true gesture, enjoy and have fun even if its with one person being around. Do not waste your thoughts on what it is being projected to you. Its worth catching up with your one friend and having a cup of tea together than roaming around with bunch of folks who are your so called friends, who just for the heck of roaming aorund, stays beside you to eat, laugh and then go away.

Identify true moments-- value them, prioritize them!

Best Regards. Live life. Keep the faith. Bless you all.

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Never Grow Up

Few things get digressed from our mind and soul as we grow up. Questions like- “what would you like to become as you grow old?” stays missing. Why can’t we raise same questions when we reach our thirties or forties? Can’t we ask- “what would you like to become now as you grow more old?”

Look, there is no age to stop dreaming. If at thirty five you realize that all you want to be is a dancer, at least give it a try. Do not just give up thinking that “OMG at this age how am I gonna learn?”  Always give it a try. And please always remember that no matter what age are you living your life at, you are never old to dream.

 

I stood by the mirror,

All I could see was a wrinkled face,

Now baffled mind believed,

That dream was unfeasible to face.

 

Dream to now run with pace,

Dream to earn the crowds cheers,

Dream to hold the glory of trophy,

All this, punched the heart with misery.

 

To live my present desire,

I wish I had hope,

But, alas, all I feel now is,

I had never grown up.

 

so ladies and gentlemen, don’t be a part of lachrymose decisions, have faith, break free you fears and you can be what you want to be!!

copyright aditi kochhar 

Forget about the castles that are already brought down

While reading a chapter, one definitely reaches the last page of the chapter. Like that new chapters begin in the book titled- life. And one day while reading a book one definitely reaches the last page of the book. We got to read, understand, and above all, accept all the chapters and keep flipping the pages till we reach the end.

And then after completing reading the book, all one comes across is a single thought, a thought which concludes the book. Make sure you read the book of your life in a way that when you reach the end, you have power, wisdom, and strength to conclude it without any doubts.

You are the traveller of your life and the fact is that happiness is never on when you reach the destination but how did one accept each corner of the path he/she has travelled so far. The journey is the truth.

Accept the present. Future no matter will definitely come. How? Even you don’t know. That’s the power of unknown which adds the surprise to your life and make it colourful, add various flavours of memory/moments.

You die only when it’s the date you stop breathing; don’t die before that where you stop feeling the present. Stay alive in the moment as that’s the truth of now; and we live now. Now, when you all are reading this post, right now when you can just feel that you breathing, right now when you can hear the sound of the fan rolling up in the roof or you can listen to the buzzing horn of the car passing nearby or right now when you are listening to music playing in your pc or when right now you are living in an emotion you just encountered but all you doing is running away and not ready to accept the now- the present. Don't let your future let you sweep away you present.

Endless unsaid words my heart says,

But I hear what my mind speaks,

Unknowingly I crush the present,

And think that my future stays.

You belong to a part of present but not of the past. Forget about the castles that are already brought down.  

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The genesis of self is reborn

The dawn for rest never arrives,
The dusk for errands never dies,
Timely running time always flies,
Deadly deadlines always shine.

Camera of world refuses to click,
The picture of exactly who you are,
All the angles of lens are adjusted,
Printing a picture that world demands.

Amidst the eclectic ethos,
One can’t adjourned the equanimity,
Bear the weight of heavy doubts,
And find the answers solely.

The genesis of self is re-born,
To steer the quotient of life,
Crawling over a crowed path,
That runs with the ever running time.


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(photographer : aditi kochhar)

you too can do it !!

Feel closed for solutions?
Can't trace any sign of happiness?
Numerous negative notions,
Feel haunted by hopeless aspirations?

What's new when problems knock?
Everyone drives towards the dead end once,
Just pause to ponder over the fact,
That you are not the only one,,

Do your homework,
Work hard madly,
Nothing in this world is for free,
So better earn for your dreams...

Somewhere someone feels the same,
Depressed, demotivated, out of game,
Never give up when they say,
Believe in it without any dismay.

You too can beat the busted self,
You too can hold yourself up,
As somewhere someone must have did it,
Remember, you too can do it,,,

Copyright aditi kochhar

Random Note

NOTE:

Envisage a life where each moment you dwell into is pure, filled with unbeatable desire to do purposeful good deeds where you do work which you want to do and you are not stuck under the pressure of monotonous clock that rings an alarm reminding you of your deadlines. Make yourself procrastinate-free person, sabotage your sickened way of looking things in sad and negative manner, knock out your fears, gear your mind and heart to achieve your dreams.

They say that journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. So what are you waiting for? Take your first step; endow yourself with exuberance and positivity. Whet your appetite with urge to learn more. Don’t sit idle. You got the potential, channelize it.

I agree that at times we do get stuck in our lives and feel completely de-motivated, we find no support and hate that no one is there to hold us in our tough times, well in that situation, hour of need is to keep your faith alive.  Don’t curse or have grudges for your close ones if they can’t be with you in your phase of despair as even you don’t know why they not helping you as often they too stuck and are struggling with their own problems and so they can’t lend their hand of support to you. So the best is to believe in you.

In the end, you are the part of the problem as well the solution. Life is all about facing the both sides of coin,-tough and smooth.

I hope you all achieve good in life and be proud of what you achieve as you are worth it. All the best for the journey of life you walk onto, may all your dreams come true.

Copyright aditi kochhar

**never cross again, will be walked again**

Abrupt absence reflected arrogance,

And care was consigned to nothingness.

Obnoxious oblivion, irrelevant reasons,

Promises once made were broken.

Clouds of unsaid words never showered,

And drought of concern was the last shot.

Sadly paths might never cross again,

But memory lane will be walked again…..

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When enough seems enough!!

To curb complex confusions,

Mind tries real hard,

To endure endless emotions,

Heart gets torn apart.

Axiomatic arising anger,

And faded frisk factor,

Endeavor to find peace,

Miserably fails indeed.

From trickling tears,

To fathom fears,

Caged into deep guilt within,

Happiness seems hidden.

Inebriated into inner self,

Yet don’t know thy self,

Depressed melody sings aloud,

And broken booty runs amok.

When enough seems enough,

It’s a sign; it’s more than enough,

Go and burry the worry,

And Just live break-free….

copyright aditi kochhar

I Had A Dream...

Wished to work within those walls,
I thought, its where I would belong,
The opportune moment came,
And silently walked away..

Within hours, I woke up from sleep,
And I realized, I had a dream,
But now it seems so far,
And I feel bit lost..

But still one day again, I shall catch up with time,
And then I'll say, I have my dream,
With me, within me,
Somewhere, where I always wanted to be..

Copyright aditi kochhar
(Photographer: aditi kochhar)

Keep the faith!!

One of the toughest failures is to pull oneself up when one is drowned within inner self. It’s not easy to take one step after another and pass the dark alleys of your own mind which is full of negativity, frustration, de-motivated doubts. And when one eventually stands at the verge of end, one is afraid to accept the fact everything eventually ends; waves falls, day ends...

It’s not easy to find the new self of oneself. Not easy to leave something that used to define you, drive you and get a new ensemble of emotions for your deep within. You see a side of yourself which is all unknown to you. It’s a white moment where all illusions breaks and sour failure brightly shines. Your own mistakes make you feel miserable. You impugn your own intellect and feel really hard to find the truth of life, wonder what is it all about!!
One questions one’s own heart, what am I suppose to do? What is reel and what is real? Should I waste my time and dare to dream as now I know that dreamy world does exist but ironically in dreams only.  All once happy true moments seems shattered, broken into pieces and one tries  to link them and find the real, true, exact meaning of those moments piece by piece.

To fight such moment ain’t easy. But this is also a solid fact that no one can help you than your own belief within yourself. I completely agree that it won’t be easy to support your own sinking soul. So take rest for a while!! May be today is not the day and you are not ready but soon you will be!!  Keep the faith alive!! **Amen**

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It Rained again...

Candid conversations of clouds through pure drizzle that sweetly kiss the surface of erotic earth,
when cool breeze romantically dance spreading the sweet sandy smell and turns the mood on,
Flowing with the aura of amazing ambience that rain brings along,
Even an ordinary passing moment becomes a cherished memory for one..

Finally rain knocked at the place where I stay and as usual again it pulled my mood to pick up my pen and write something. So here it goes,

"In different shades of friendship,
 hides the color of happiness.
 Stay in love with life,
 you can do it, keep this in mind.
 Dance with your dreams,
 see new hopes,just break free.
 Equate less with tears and negativity,
 Feel one shot down of alacrity.
 You are the traveller as well as the voyage,
 so think which direction you wish you take.
 Sun always rise after each night,
 keep patience, everything will be alright.... "

copyright aditi kochhar                                                                 (photographer: aditi kochhar)