In The Blind Spot Of My Heart

"Jab sara jag sota hai, phir neend humein kyun ati nahin..." as I was listening to the song, a smile crossed my heart. I mean in the past one year,  I had been catching up on things. Beat crazy hectic office work or pending household chores or some random x y z situations. I had been tired, frustated, demotivated and what not. Every weekend target is to rest but every single time you end up catching up on your pending tasks. In the blind spot of my heart I had craved a weekend where I get some time to relax, where I write, listen to music while drinking my cup of tea, talk to love of my life or just randomly watch some movie and most importantly spend some time without worrying about anything. Every day I had felt tired because of which always felt sleepy and energyless. My heart would skip a beat thinking about the old times before we all started to work, when we could be all awake all night, reading novels or listening to songs and yet waking up in the morning with full energy. Often I wonder that it was'nt the case that we had less work then yet we used to be charged up. How ? Why? How come now we feel so sleepy? Well, I couldn't have got the answer up untill I had felt this feeling, at this moment untill now. 

Its 11:41 pm and songs are rolling one by one. I am sitting on my couch and writing this. And believe me, sleep is no where in the distant vision in my eyes. Again, how come is this possible? 

Well, I had busy day, whole day was spent in cleaning the house, lunch, shopping and even did some office work in the evening, then how come I feel so refreshed right now?

Well, its about thoughts which are in mind... Everyday we live in the garbage of dead and negative thoughts. Thoughts which remind us of office tensions or pending tasks..blah blah.. We dwell on situations of fast pace running life that we miss the essence to cherish the moments for which we are living this life. We need to unerstand the diference between - we work to live or live to work. Imagine, today all these positive thoughts could strike my mind just because I could live moment which was in my blind spot of my heart. Today somehow, luckily, I saw a movie on tv, talked with my partner with a connecting spark, had light dinner and then got chance to listen to some great old songs which started to roll... Believe me when I heard the lyrics "Jab sara jag sota hai, phir neend humein kyun ati nahin" I could literally relate to each word. People including us, we usually feel sleepy because we end up getting deprived of the moments which stay in the blind spot of our hearts. All I pray at this very time is that we all take out time to live such moments that stay untouched in our blind spot of our hearts.

I wish we all get such moments all the time

Amen.
PS: It feels good to write on my blog again after almost two and a half years :)

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That second

Water kisses the brim of glass,

Fire ablaze red hot,

Water flows close to the danger mark,

That second stakes the charm.

One more step with wounded feet,

One sip of water to beat the heat,

Last try to achieve the dream,

That second stakes the belief.

Anger waiting patiently to explode,

Life ready to break its chore,

Relations prepared to diffuse the self,

That second stakes one’s will 

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Unidentified by self

The space in mind seems empty,

Nothing in between,

The rainbow once seemed pretty,

Now, just colors intertwined.

Mirror reflects the self,

Unidentified by self.

Feud between heart and mind,

Escaped the sweet conversations,

Once there was a bit of nirvana,

Now exist, just thoughts in coma.

Mirror reflects the self,

Unidentified by self.

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Carpe-diem

It dates back to centuries, “I wish I could also wear an archer ring and drink wine in Bohemian glass.” “I wish I could fight with valor having carved swords in my hands.” “I wish I could drape myself in the finest silk and could walk on Persian carpets.” I guess such thoughts would have crossed the minds of all the folks who didn't belong to the generation of royal kings; to be as rich as kings were their wildest dreams.

Today as a person of 21^st century, I cherish to see the rare relics of the period when such folks craved to be born as kings in their next generation. The jade artifacts, the Persian swords (Abbasi), flintlock guns and blunderbusses, collections of rich trinkets, statues dated back from 2^nd -3^rd century to 19^th century and much more. I could see the finest collections which once belonged to the royal families but now lay silently behind the closed shelves of the museum.

There was a time in the history when to fight with weapons embedded with diamond, hunting daggers or small pistols was supposed to be powerful and proud owner of these weapons used to flaunt about their strength. Did anyone would have imagined during that period, that in future, strongest weapon might be a nuclear bomb? Leave that, would they have ever imagined in their wildest of dreams that a nuclear bomb could be the most dreadful weapon?

The thought of what we aspire for our future, the imagination which we weave in our minds might not be the only best dimension which would exist in the future. So best idea is to utilize the present and be aware of near future instead of future (year’s way ahead of our time- line).

The thread which stretches the past to future is ironical. The costliest diamond which I want to own right now may not be the best diamond in future. Instead a new metal would get invented which would be people’s desire to own it.

Let me state an example of present century, I want to own a range rover as soon as possible and I would like to drive it every day. That’s my dream. And there is one person who works as a driver for some super rich businessman and drives his range rover every day. So basically, a driver is living my dream, and on the other hand, he dreams to be like me. He wants to work in big organization, earn pretty good income, live in good society and live a safe life.

My present is his dream to fulfill in future and his present is my desire to live in future. It’s just the equilibrium of the situations is not same.

In the history to be born as king was best dream to achieve, lately to be an innovator who invents something good and serve the society is the trend of the society, but there could be a situation that in near future, to be able to survive fighting the catastrophic situation would be the ultimate reality.

So walk into the present peacefully, walk towards your own passion, live your each second and live with motto- Carpe-diem.

Someday, you will also belong to a period which will exist in the history. And future is something which nobody has seen. Only thing which we have is- PRESENT

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never too late, never too far

"Closure await for broken dreams,

A new door opens in between,

One day is never too late,

Take the decision to find your fate.

Reunite with the reverence of self,                        

Meet the motivated self,

The faith is never too far,

It always takes you away from dark.

Rise above the guilt,

Rise above the sorrows,

Get drowned in the self-belief,

Life is beautiful indeed."

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Close one's

Life keeps running and till we die, we keep living different moments of our lives. Among these varied moments, there is one side of these moments where we try to take care of our close ones. We try to make them smile, adjust with their phase of life irrespective of how our own life is running and we just accept them the way they are. We think that they know about the stuff running in our life, but somehow they neglect the efforts we put in to make things seem perfect just for them. We keep our own problems, worries, and tensions aside; we even try to mend the ways, which we want to do, so as to help ourselves fight our own problems. We put their troubles above ours and do things which they want to do. And slowly and steadily this becomes a habit.

They shirk the part where they too need to mend their ways and do something just for us. And when this continues, we just keep losing out on expectation and in the end we de-attach ourselves from everything so as to not to get hurt more. But the story doesn’t ends here, our reputation is defamed over the fact that we don’t care for them anymore. They say there was a time when we used to be there for them, we used to make them smile which unfortunately we don’t do anymore.They say our expectations are way too high.

Lately, having close ones seem bit ironical and satirical. And I feel, it’s better not to live in an illusion. I don’t want to think someone as one my close one if he/she just can’t understand my point of view and keep playing the blame game and defame my reputation without caring for anything.

I know I can’t re color the beautiful moments which once were my best moments. But I can reassure myself to stay away from pseudo world of pseudo relationships with pseudo promises and pseudo affection.

Take care. I hope you all find your true close ones.

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Dont be a victim

Hello people, as a person who loves writing, I feel bit content that I completed a century writing over this blog of mine. I feel content as lately I have been out of touch of writing; specially poems. So right now, I just framed up my random thoughts of the moment into this poem below-

The wishes, the desires I had,

Those wishes, those desires got crushed,

Whom shall I blame?

Whom shall I not blame?

The struggle is tired to work for dreams,

The stamina is now weak and lean,

Can we still try to push ourselves?

And take the path being less followed?

I think and re think every day,

But at least I think each day,

I think for my next step,

To begin my journey with my single step,

I know result is in actions,

And I’m sure I will not kill my aspirations,

As I don’t want to be a victim,

Who killed her own dreams..

The year 2013 is about to bid its good bye and I'm sure everyone of us is hoping that the new year coming round the corner brings with itself lots of happiness, success and joy for all of us. But along with this, I request you all to recapture the year 2013 and think about the good memories you made, the lessons you learnt, the failure you faced. Just cherish your each moment you lived in this present year.

I wish you all a great Merry Christmas and a great Happy New Year; enjoy the festive season. Jump into the celebration, don't be sad. Don't feel sorry for yourself, as in the end, its your own life and don't make yourself a victim for being sad. Stand up and try to gather the stamina you need to create a life which you want to see for yourself. Wishing you all lots of good lucks and good charms.

Bless you all.

Adios 2013!!

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